We are now one week away from finishing up with our foster care classes. Gosh, time went by so quickly!
Last week I went to write a post, and was overcome (once again) by emotions, so half way through, I deleted everything and simply walked away.
All of our paperwork was finally turned in two weeks ago; our dogs rabies shots being what held us up.
My husband and I have made a very large decision when it comes to the type of child we will foster. After a lot of discussion and meditation, we both feel that if we are going to truly give our hearts to the foster care system, then we need to allow ourselves to be the biggest asset to them. To do so, we have decided that we are going to take on special needs children. We feel with our backyards in EMS, as well as being around many special needs children, this is where our experience could truly be appreciated.
There are days where I still find myself getting angry, getting emotional, getting depressed, over the struggles we have faced with fertility. However - those days, recently, have been few and far between. I wouldn't say that I have accepted the situation, but I think I am finally getting to the point where I know with my whole heart, that no matter what I do, nothing is going to make the situation any better and I need to stop blaming myself. Talking about it still hurts at times, but a powerful support group has really helped with that.
No matter what I do, people are going to keep having babies and friends will continue to have more children than what they can handle. Though I try, it will still hurt and it will still be hard for me to understand how children can be born to horrible parents (In my opinion). But - that's life and that is how our world works. It's not always fair, and we have to accept the cards we are drawn otherwise it will eat away at us to the point we are not even functional.
In as little as 4 weeks, we could have our first child placed with us.
Cheers to moving forward.
